I'm Friends With The Monster Under My Bed

(It's really my vibrator)

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if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

(via maggie-lol)


Can we kiss whilst lounging around in our underwear and get drunk

(via haveabowlofwhore)



a happy couple might’ve got married today 

someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today

someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today

someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today 

lots of interesting things might’ve happening today 

we should celebrate 

you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives

(Source: olympercy, via notwritteninbraille)


I wish I was pretty but like actually pretty, not “my friends and family think I’m pretty because they’re my friends and family” pretty

(Source: fightme-pgoon, via concupiscent-thoughts)



"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison

christian grey is white and wealthy he’s not going to prison any time soon

(via concupiscent-thoughts)

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